Long Ago
by Shizuku Tsukishima749
Summary: It had killed her, figuratively speaking, to leave him behind. Now, after twenty years in hiding, Sarah is dying without him. Adam/Sarah
1. Long Ago

A/N: Yes, I already posted this chapter, but when I was reading over it, I noticed some things that could be improved. So, I did it and reposted. Hopefully, that hasn't caused too much confusion.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kyle XY or anything affiliated. If I did, one of the most beautiful shows on all of television (this one) would NOT have been canceled until it'd had its run.

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**Long Ago**

She couldn't explain it, really. She just…had a sudden urge, no, _need _to go down to the old diner. She'd opposed it at first, of course, but after a while, obscene nightmares had begun to afflict her sleep; fevers resulting from that conflict started to bombard her soon after; and finally, physical pain had come up, sometimes holding her up in her apartment for hours on end.

Having no other option, she gave in, driving her gray sedan to J.P.'s Diner, not smiling at the old man who stared at her fixedly, eyes wide in amazement as he closed up shop. She hadn't forgotten this man, even after twenty long years.

J.P. Harken was still the same as he'd forever been, albeit older; he was still kind, selfless, and compassionate. He had always had a soft spot for her and Adam when they'd made their countless visits to the diner during their college years, and she appreciated him immensely.

When asked of her presence, she merely told him she'd felt a need to reminisce, and the man grinned again, a twinkle in his eye.

"I bet I know why. Tell your boy I miss him, will you? You two should come by during the day sometime; I'd like to introduce you to my granddaughter. She still doesn't believe we saw your kids here a few weeks ago. They were the spitting image o' the two o' you; I actually mistook them for you and your boy. No wonder they seemed so confused."

He laughed, but Sarah didn't smile; the pain was back, but worse than before. She closed her eyes tightly and leaned her elbow against the door of the diner, her fingertips sprawled out and pressing on her forehead.

She jumped when a hand landed on her shoulder; it was wrinkled and tense, yet warm and caring. She didn't have the strength to open her eyes at the moment, but there was no need; she knew who it was.

"You okay?" She could hear the concern in J.P.'s voice, and she replied, though uncharacteristically slowly.

"Yeah. Don't worry; it'll pass. I just…" She paused as the pain intensified for a moment, and then she managed to mostly relax before continuing. "Have been feeling a little under the weather recently." She sensed the old man nod and very lightly, almost unnoticeably, he squeezed her shoulder.

"All right. Hey, you know what? How about you come inside and I make you a cob salad and cherry cola, just like I used to, huh?" He beamed and fished his keys from his pocket, unlocking the door and leading her inside. Instinctively, she went straight to a booth that seemed to be calling her, and the second she sat down, upon feeling the familiar grooves in the otherwise unscathed tabletop, she knew why.

_A + S_

_Forever_

_June '82_

Below it all was the Latnok symbol. She swore it was mocking her; every word, number, and mark. A and S…Adam and Sarah…The happy couple… She glared insincerely at the letters and addition sign, the smallest hints of broken tears forming, but was startled from her meanderings when a full salad bowl and glass of carbonated, dried blood-colored liquid were set down in front of her.

She involuntarily drew a frightened breath and lifted her head immediately to find J.P. in front of her, staring at her perceptively, his eyes penetrating her soul through her eyes.

She quickly lowered her head again, looking away toward the window and into the dark night. She tensed, eyes wide, however, when a hand cautiously slid through her hair, gentle and caring, never mind that it was shaking. Smiling blissfully, she closed her eyes and leaned against the touch, as it felt just like his… Adam used to thread his fingers through her hair like this…

"You sure you're okay, sweetheart? Maybe I should drive you to the hospital, just to get you checked out…?" The soft, worried voice asked, and Sarah was immediately shaken from her reverie. She straightened up instantly, snapping her eyes open and looking directly ahead, shuddering despite herself. She flickered her eyes to J.P.; he was the one to stroke her hair in such a spellbindingly familiar manner.

His words suddenly came back to her, and she wondered if, perhaps, that would be such a bad idea. The pain had been coming more frequently lately, the nightmares and fevers getting worse right along with it.

Speaking of which, another wave of crippling pain hit her, and she couldn't stop the quiet shout that came through her lips. She clenched the other side of the table strenuously, eyes closed and teeth clamped forcefully.

As this occurred, Sarah felt two hands; two calloused, loving hands resting on hers… They felt just like Adam's…they communicated the same words as they caressed her hands the way he once did…

She swore it was him. It had to be. No one else in her life, no one she had even known briefly, had been as gentle or as tender with her as him. Her prayers had been answered; he was here.

She willed herself to shakily lift her chin in order to face her distraction from the pain, and a blessed one at that. She was setting everything she was and had been out on the table for him to see, for him to touch…for him to mend and never let break again.

He had recognized her, no matter the twenty years that had passed and how different they appeared; they'd always been able to know the other when no one else could.

She had identified him when the hospital couldn't after he had gotten his face smashed in while protecting her in a bar fight she'd accidentally started, back in their college days. He'd done the same after a fall when rock climbing had bloodied up her face so badly she'd had temporary amnesia, making it even harder for the doctors to put a name to the already unidentifiable face.

Upon finding the strength to open her eyes into little more than slits, she realized just what she had been missing all these years: deep brown hair, beautiful, expressive eyes, an incomparably warm smile, that forever loving face…

His face was soft with adoration; he seemed to be speaking to her soothingly, but she heard nothing. She could only bring herself to focus on the fact that he was here, here to take away her pain and convince her that he was there to stay.

Suddenly, everything froze, stopped; was silent. She momentarily forgot Adam, the diner, J.P., the pain…everything.

A strange, yet familiar string of notes, chords, and words gradually filled her head, and she listened. There was something beneath all of it, though, that seemed to be speaking to her, and all too quickly, everything around her shattered as if made of glass.

She gasped loudly, bolting into a sitting style that suggested an unbendable spine, incredibly wide eyes and irregular breathing along for the ride, too.

Words ran through her head as she raised it, staring at J.P., who now leaned against the counter of the restaurant, pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut.

_It's all right, Sarah. This will all be over soon. Keep me close._

Her breathing was instantly calmed at his voice, eyes contracting to their original size and her shoulders losing their tension. Silence reigned throughout the old place until the elderly man regained his breath.

"By Joe, little lady! You scared me half to death! I thought you weren't going to come out of that spell until the paramedics got a hold of you! I could only think to play that song of yours and your boy's to see if it'd bring you back!" His eyes were worriedly tired, and it didn't seem as if he'd ever again move from his leaning position against the counter. It was while observing him that she noticed a portable record player atop the counter, powered down and without anything to play. "I'm glad it worked, too. You nearly gave me a heart attack…"

He sighed, but the rest of his actions were lost to Sarah as she concentrated. His words and the mysterious appearance of the record player symbolized something important… Her brown eyes narrowed for a second and then grew wide.

Their song was the key! The pain had completely faded when its first notes had flowed into her ears, and the message from Adam had only made her relax, just as he and his whispers had back then…

It was so good to see an image of him; he looked exactly as he had so long ago in college. Her heart sank; nonetheless, an image did not ward off the enormous ache in her heart.

Shuffling feet warped her back to reality for the time being as J.P. walked toward her and sat down in the seat across from her, dragging one of his wrinkled hands down his face and then resting it on his side of the table.

His other hand was brought from his lap and put on the table, holding a large, white envelope. Though his fingers covered some of the letters scrawled neatly across its outside, she could easily read the writing: _Sarah_. She raised her head a bit, interested now more than ever.

He had remembered her name after all these years; she wondered if he remembered Adam's, too…? However, what captured her interest even more was the envelope's contents.

He noticed the object of her gaze and smiled, slowly handing it to her. She took it eagerly, quickly but delicately ripping it open, only to touch something she never thought she would again.

Her eyes scanned the title on the vinyl record's center, tears forming quickly and sliding down her face.

_She Could Be You_. This song had saved her before, had washed away every bit of her pain by sending her an image of Adam, his words resounding in her ears. Now, simply holding the record dispatched a feeling of absolute rejuvenation throughout her body. She felt…new, beautiful; each time she had seen him, Adam had made her feel like that…

She gripped the record a bit tighter as realization dawned: that had been the plan all along! Adam had placed one last message to her within the music all those years ago, knowing she'd need to hear it eventually, and the physical afflictions had been her "punishment" of sorts for fighting destiny.

She had to communicate with him; if not directly due to her faint heart, then through Jessi and Kyle. She'd inconspicuously give the beloved record to Jessi, who'd show it to Kyle, and once his sleeping patterns started being affected, Adam would be consulted. Then, they'd find her message within the music, and he would know. It would all work according to plan, she was sure.

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, slid out of her seat, and startled J.P. by hugging him tightly for the first time in either of their lives.

"Thank you for everything. You've done so much for me over the years, and I wish I could express how much that has meant to me." She whispered in his ear and then pulled back to beam at him. She sat back down and spoke with him for hours, one hand clutching _She Could Be You_ and the other allowing her to eat her salad and drink her cola.

When they locked up shop for the second and final time at two-thirty the following morning to go their separate ways, Sarah chose to contemplate everything that had happened.

Sitting in her car in the diner's parking lot, record in hand, she knew she had fully come to terms with how much she honestly missed Adam. She had been completely avoiding the topic every single moment of every day since she'd left, for that's how often her mind and heart went back to thoughts of him, but she found she could ignore it no longer.

It had killed her, figuratively speaking, to leave him. To find him again after so long... She would do it; she was scared to death that he would hate her, reject her, scorn her for all that she had done, but in her heart, she knew that wouldn't happen. All from her past and all from her present had pointed her in the direction of what was awaiting her in the future, and that was all that mattered.

Seeing that Jessi was safe and happy was her goal; tracking down and staying with Adam was her utopia. As she started her car and drove down the deserted road, her mindset was clear: Make it real.


	2. Funfilled Remembrance

_A/N: _I can't help but wonder about Sarah and Adam's relationship on the show, seeing as they never really delved into it as I would have liked to see! Thus, I have to make my own assumptions, and I hope I'm paying them their deserved respects in this fanfic. There will definitely be more Adam/Sarah fics from me because they actually intrigue me more than Kyle/Jessi, and THAT is saying a HECK of a lot... O.O

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She'd adopted Jessi, her daughter, about a week ago, and they were happy. The girl had adjusted quite well, of course, just as she had with the rest of her many guardians; it even selfishly occurred to Sarah that she might end up happier with her than she would have with any of the others.

It was early morning on a Saturday, and though she had been sleeping soundly, she suddenly became alert upon hearing the smallest traces of footsteps on the floor beside her bed, creeping closer and closer to her face.

She slowly tensed, ready to face whatever attack came her way; just to be safe, she had pepper spray, a taser, and strictly under extreme circumstances, a loaded, yet perfectly harmless gun tucked away between the mattresses…within reach, yet out of sight, of course.

A hand cautiously, gently touched her shoulder, and her eyes snapped open, flickering to the person from whom the hand had come.

There was no way to properly explain her relief upon seeing her dark-haired daughter standing there beside her, giving her a not-so-worried glance; the seventeen-year-old was used to this die-hard habit from her Mother's 'running-from-Latnok' days, and she gave her a small smile to reassure her.

Sarah returned it and let out a large sigh, closing her eyes and resting against the pillow for a second before opening them and sitting up, taking down her ponytail as she grinned.

Jessi sat down next to her on the bed, seemingly taking the moment's silence to enjoy her Mother's morning radiance. Hair beautiful even if disheveled now that it was free of the ponytail, clad in silky black pajamas, and smiling as she was with the sunshine gracing her cheeks, the younger woman couldn't help but admire her Mother's simple splendor.

"So, what did you need, Jessi?" Sarah asked, gently taking her hand.

"I wanted to do something fun on our first weekend as family. Is that okay?" Ms. Emerson laughed joyfully.

"Of course, it is! That sounds great! How about we go shopping for some new school clothes?" Her daughter's eyes brightened as she grinned widely, Sarah smiling, too. "Good. Now, please vacate my room, so I can get ready." She replied playfully, the younger of the two chuckling as well as she did as instructed.

Emerging the apartment complex about twenty minutes later, they jumped into Sarah's car and headed for the mall. Taking only about fifteen minutes, they reached the mall and aimlessly walked around for a few hours, picking out several new outfits that were definitely made for someone like Jessi.

One topic of conversation became quite interesting when Jessi mentioned a botanical gardens of some sort about which she'd read. Interested, Sarah wished to know more, and Jessi's eyes widened in excitement as she began animatedly telling her all about it.

"Supposedly, it's extremely beautiful, not that I couldn't tell as much from the picture. Speaking of which, the architectural designs look and sound amazing! I'd love to visit it over Spring Break from school or something."

"You know…we _could_ go there." Ms. Emerson titled her face toward her charge, morphing her lips into a mischievous smirk. She wiggled her eyebrows at Jessi, who laughed.

"But it's- it's two cities over! You'd really…?" She trailed, eyes sparkling and face aglow as she looked at her Mother.

"Of course I would! I love you, Jessi. This is something I want to do for you because I know it will make you happy. That's all I ever want." Sarah tenderly grinned and grabbed her free hand, squeezing it lightly as the girl gazed at her for a few seconds before throwing herself on her, abandoning the shopping bags on the ground.

She laughed joyfully and returned the hug just as tightly, burying her face in her hair and breathing in slowly. It was strange to think about, but her daughter truly did resemble her in nearly every fashion.

She looked identical to her when she'd been in her teenage years, she smelled like her, she thought like her, she acted like her, she was in love with the clone of…

Sarah halted all as that thought crossed her mind. Adam…

She had worked hard on tracking him down so far, and she was nearly there now. Though she so wanted to reveal herself to him, she always found herself presented with doubts, just as she had when meeting Jessi for the first time. Her daughter's experience had nearly ended in her death, however, and the brunette woman would do anything to prevent her reunion with Adam to conclude on similar terms.

Her technical offspring immediately noticed the change in heart rate, breathing, and free bodily movement and stepped back, searching her Mother's eyes for answers as her face showed immense concern.

Finally registering the distress Jessi was in upon seeing her in such a state, she shook herself out of it and grinned at her, pushing all thoughts of her beloved Adam elsewhere for the time being. She took her girl's hand and pulled her along after her, Jessi joining the smiling after continuing to gaze at her anxiously for a few seconds.

The drive to the Grensford Botanical Gardens was approximately five hours counting traffic, though Jessi corrected her in saying they had traveled exactly four hours, fifty-three minutes, and eighteen seconds.

Naturally, Sarah was a proud Mother, proud of the woman her seventeen-year-old had become. Thus, she took numerous pictures while they spent the afternoon together; pictures of her smiling, laughing, the two of them making funny faces, and even one in which Jessi was embarrassed to say hello to the camera phone when the woman abruptly shoved it in her face.

As they would never have made it back home before dark without majorly exceeding the speed limit and possibly causing a few minor-to-major car accidents, she and Jessi decided it would be wise to rent a room at a hotel for the night.

The furnishings were sparse, but quaint and home-like nonetheless, with two twin beds, a dresser, a small bathroom, and a bedside table between the two beds where a lamp and digital alarm clock rested.

Preferring to converse with each other anyway, they didn't mind the lack of brainwashing media or idiotic shows television had to offer, though they would occasionally flip to "House" or any other show related to exercising our brainpower…though Sarah highly doubted Jessi's could be exercised much more than it already was on a daily basis.

They slept soundly that night, Ms. Emerson grinning lovingly as she found Jessi's lips curved into a gently happy smile the next morning, no doubt dreaming of Kyle.

She'd only met the boy three times, and even then, just briefly, but she was amazed how much he…how much he reminded her of Adam.

He looked like him, spoke like him, thought like him, acted like him, and she knew for a fact a part of him loved Jessi like Adam had loved her… She didn't know how dominant that part was, but it was obvious that it would increase in the future.

As she sat on the edge of the bed with her hands folded in her lap, she closed her eyes and let the few tears that had developed stream down her face, biting her lower lip as it began to tremble.

She missed him… She missed her best friend, her confidant, her whole world; the one person who had bothered with and cared for her when no one else had been willing to do so.

A warm, tender hand on her shoulder startled her, causing her to whip around to face Jessi, slightly aware of how she must look to her now, face tear stained and red. The girl didn't seem to care about any of that, though, as she took her Mother in her arms and held her tightly, close to her.

She didn't have to tell her what was wrong; she knew what it was like to have things too painful to put into words, things that could solely be expressed in the form of tears or peculiar behavior.

The tears fell quickly and hard; she said nothing and only held her tighter as her body was wracked with sobs. Sarah clung to her, and though she tried to compose herself, knowing Jessi didn't deserve or need to see her so broken with all she's had to endure already, the abrupt torrent couldn't be stopped.

"Mom… Look…" She brought her unendingly tear streaked face from her shoulder at the hope in her daughter's tone, glancing curiously at her before following her gaze out the window.

A beautiful rainbow was visible just beyond the mist-topped mountains, even through the six forty-five A.M. semidarkness. It must have rained sometime during the night, and by the look on Jessi's face and her suggestive pitch, the elder of the two knew what they were seeing was no coincidence. She was happy her tears had decided to hold back for that one special moment.

Carefully removing herself from her daughter's arms after the spectacle of light and water had mostly died away, Jessi watched as she got up, wiped her eyes and face with her sleeve, and smiled at her.

"Come on. What do you say we head home?" Her charge beamed instantly and stood, rushing around to straighten up the room before they left as her Mother laughed. "Home" was automatically associated with "Kyle" for that girl, and she loved her for it. Perhaps she could tag along and finally meet the boy's family... Well, maybe not; but it would be nice to see the young man again.

Luckily, at this time of the morning, there was never any traffic heading back to Seattle, so the drive only took three hours, fifteen minutes, and six seconds, once more according to her brilliant daughter.

Arriving on the Tragers' doorstep, Sarah Emerson was a nervous wreck; she squeezed Jessi's hand quite hard, the other hand clutching the strap of her purse with just as much strength. Should one of the Tragers, besides Kyle, open the door, what would she do or say? She could merely pray she wouldn't do as was prone: run.

Kyle's eyes widened as he opened the door and looked from Jessi to her, expectedly doing a double-take, though he had clearly seen and known the elder brunette the first time. Inviting them inside, he smiled and led them into what Sarah suspected to be the family room, gesturing for them to sit on the couches as he sat in one of the armchairs next to the longer piece of furniture.

"It's good to see you again, Sarah." He smiled at her, and she returned it.

"Thank you, Kyle, and the same to you. Where's the rest of your family?"

"They already had things planned, but I had nothing else to do, so I stayed here. I had a feeling I'd be needed here today, and I was right." He smiled at Jessi warmly, who returned it, and then he cast her Mother the same sentiment, eyes shining in glee.

It was the same…Adam's smile had made her feel as Jessi did now…

She became aware of her mind unpredictably hurtling back into memories of him, and then, all was dark. Jessi's frantic calls of her name were the last things she faintly heard; the last things she felt were what she was _sure _to be Adam's feather-touch fingers stroking her cheek and grasping her hand.

Her vision was beginning to come back now, first only seeing black splotches, then blurry images, and finally, she was able to clearly make out the anxious face of Jessi, who was looming over her and monitoring her closely.

Sarah noticed Kyle behind her daughter, standing off to the side and wearing an equally worried expression. It was then that she took note of where she was; still at the Tragers, still in the living room, though the sky outside had darkened to a mix of bright orange and indigo-magenta hues.

She turned back toward the two adolescents in the room as a hand grasped hers; it was somewhat calloused with a soft, warm communication, and she knew it to belong to Jessi.

She smiled at her daughter, carefully sitting up on the couch on which she lay with the girl's help. Kyle moved forward and handed her a glass of water, from which she gladly drank.

A blond woman suddenly stepped out from behind Jessi, and Sarah's inner alarms immediately went off. Jessi sensed this and quickly stood in front of the newcomer.

"Mom!" The elder brunette stopped her train of thought and rested upon the pillows once again at the cry, the alarms quieting. She trusted her daughter with her life, and if she knew and cared enough about this woman to protect her, she must be all right. "This is Nicole, Kyle's adoptive Mom. You know, the psychiatrist who took me under her wing when I first came to Seattle."

'Nicole' smiled at her meekly, carefully, unsure whether to awkwardly shake Sarah's hand, while the opposite woman simply observed her. Even though she had been getting better about reconnecting with humans after twenty years of chosen isolation, she was continuously wary around each new person she met, no matter that this woman had raised Kyle and helped Jessi from the beginning.

"Hi, Sarah. As you already know, I'm Nicole Trager. I heard you had quite the black out earlier, and I wanted to see if you and Jessi would accept my offer of spending the night here? I couldn't possibly let you walk out of my house knowing you could be potentially ill."

The woman being questioned's untrusting eyes widened, while her college day look alike's eyes flickered to Sarah in worry at Nicole's last statement. After a second, though, Jessi turned to smile radiantly at Kyle, who reciprocated the expression eagerly. Upon glancing at her seventeen-year-old's face, there was no way she could refuse.

"Thank you, Nicole. We'd love that."


End file.
